Hey Coco: Am I undisciplined?

Advice on finding the heat.

“I cannot tell if anything is working.”

Coco, halp.

I’m an actor, podcaster, writer, and producer. I’ve been trying so hard to get my work out there. I audition, I write my own work and self-produce it. I’ve had a YouTube channel that did pretty well, but I had to abandon it because it was just too much work. I have an idea for a podcast but I’m not sure if I should pursue it or not. I also write a semi-regular newsletter and do all the general social media posting stuff.

But I’m not growing an audience. I don’t see my follower count go up (maybe a few a week if I’m lucky). And I am more burned out than passionate or satisfied with all of these creative projects.

I can’t tell if these projects are wrong for me or if I’m just not disciplined enough to see ANY project through to the end?

I cannot tell if anything is working.

I want to be known for my work. I want to have a voice. I want to have opportunities fall at my feet lol that sounds terrible, but it’s true.

But sometimes it feels like I’m just treading water, and I’m not actually going anywhere. I kind of want to quit doing all this stuff, but I feel bad about it. Am I undisciplined? Or am I doing the wrong things?

Haaaaaalp,

Multi-Tasking Multi-Hyphenate

Dear Multi-Multi,

First I want to say: Good for you that you’re even wondering out loud about this. Too many people do the thing they’re “supposed” to do and never ask the conscious questions you’re asking.

So let’s get into them.

I’m hearing “Flight of the Bumblebee” as I read your letter.

You’re clearly doing a lot of stuff, but I’m unclear on why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Maybe you know why already. Maybe you have a 5-point plan showcasing exactly why you need a YouTube channel and a podcast and a newsletter and and and.

My inner voice during the creative process.

But as far as what you mentioned in your letter, I can only see one big reason why you want to do the things you’re doing:

You want an audience.

You said you want to be known, you want your follower count to grow, and you want to have opportunities fall at your feet. (Side note: Doesn’t sound bad! Sounds great!)

But it seems like there’s a big gap between what you’re making and why you’re making it.

It sounds like perhaps you’ve read a “best practices” list telling you YouTube is the best way to get views, and a podcast is the best way to get credibility, and a newsletter is the best way to get an audience. And all of these things may be true.

But the issue is this…

If you want to actually connect with an audience, you have to make something that doesn’t neatly fit into a rational strategy.

You have to be a little weird.

David Byrne of Talking Heads

I don’t mean weird for the sake of being weird. I don’t mean try-hard weird.

I mean: there is nothing magnetic about ticking boxes. YouTube check. Podcast check. Newsletter check. Okay sure. Having them is (maybe?) important? But more important than the container is what you’re saying inside of it.

What’s your POV, Multi-Multi? What’s your angle? What do you care about? What makes you angry? What turns you on? What nags at you until you explode?

These kinds of things have heat. And heat is what makes things weird.

Elfriede Fischinger - Lumigraph (1969)

Weirdness, Originality, & Heat

As an audience, we crave heat. It’s the friction point that gets us to lean in. Heat makes us care about what you’re saying.

It sounds like you’re focused on using the tools of the trade, but you’re not heating up your message.

So instead of focusing on all the accoutrement of having a platform, focus on what your platform allows you to say.

You want people to know you for your work?

1. Create some heat.

Channel the ideas that conjure the biggest response from YOU. An audience is there to experience something from you. If you’re not creating an experience (aka something that has ups and downs and richness and depth and confusion and friction and tension and delight), then no one will pay attention. There are just too many other things to do.

2. Be weird.

Which is to say, be you. I hate this advice btw. So let me clarify. Take away everything that isn’t you. Don’t go looking for answers on the internet. Stop looking for permission. You’re not going to find it, first of all. And second of all, anything that has been previously permitted will be boring. Be a bit off.

3. Forget the laundry list of apps and places to post.

Treat the internet like Panera and pick two.

4. Go deep into an idea and don’t come up for air until you’ve just about suffocated.

Don’t let yourself off the hook. Say the third or fourth or fifth thing that comes to mind after a long time of excavating the idea. The first thing you think of is generally what everyone else is thinking too. Go further than everyone else and you’ll find your own original ideas.

5. Splurge on patience.

If you’re going to buy into anything, but into this.

6. Let yourself get cozy inside the process.

The process is the process. It’s not something you can hack. So try to remind yourself that uncomfortable doesn’t equal bad.

via Pinterest

When you do those things, you make heat. Your audience becomes like a moth to the fl… you get it.

The attraction to your work (and you) will increase. You may find more possibilities dropping into your lap. Instead of being depleted from up-keeping your platform, you may even find you enjoy your work and have more energy to do it.

This Isn’t About Discipline

Multi-Multi, at the end of this letter, you’re asking what all of this adds up to — and it’s a really worthwhile question. What are we doing any of this for? Why do you want an audience? What’s the point?

If you’re just posting and platforming because you feel like you should, then the point is to help tech billionaires buy more super yachts.

But if you’re doing this to find out what you have to say and to say it with your full chest, then there will be no fancy metric to calculate if it’s working or not. You’ll just simply know. And if it’s not working, you’ll be interested and curious enough to figure out how to get it to work.

It sounds to me like before any of that though, take a break. Seriously. For real life, as my daughter says.

Things take the time they take. So chill. Give it a minute.

via Pinterest

The good news: while you’re waiting, your unconscious and deep-seated everything is working on you. If you give yourself a little space to open your brain’s dormer window and let a meandering curiosity waft in, you’ll start noticing a new shade of life.

You’ll start having opinions worth sharing.

You’ll get off the treadmill of check lists and best practices, and connect with something much hotter: your own ideas.

Rooting for you.

xx,

coco

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PS. Restack this in Notes with your thoughts or leave a comment with your own advice. Would love to hear from other artists on how you approach heat and weirdness.

Written while my baby naps and my kid plays and bit of rainbow finds my face.