Which portal did you come through?
The one on 42nd Street and Broadway? That was mine.
I was walking to perform in an Off Broadway show and I slipped through right as the light changed.
Thankfully I had a snack. A protein pancake I’d faithfully eat during the era of measuring my body fat. I know it’s embarrassing, but I can’t help but tell you the truth. I know telling you the truth is very millennial of me.
So anyway, welcome. This is Bohemia.
Don’t tell anyone you’re here.
I’m aware it’s not very inclusive to exclude the folks on the other side of the portal, but it’s a delicate balance. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone’s welcome. But you can only get in if you discover it for yourself. We don’t advertise.
This is a walking tour by the way, so here’s your probiotic spritzer in a beautifully branded upcycled can. That’s all we drink here. That and red wine. And also coffee. We like to do three drinks at once if at all possible.
What follows is a series of influences, signals, and attitudes of Bohemia. I’m giving you the basics so you know it when you see it. Because eventually you’ll have to rejoin the rest of the world on the other side of the portal.
But the good news — once you do, you can find Bohemia again in the liminal space if you know where to look.
Here’s how to find it:
The Urban Notebook
Everything here is documented and dispensed. We don’t hoard any kind of knowledge. Some of it is open sourced, and some of it is commodified. All of it is decidedly available.
The ideas and frameworks most egregiously caged off by “executives” and “A-listers” is exactly what we wish to disseminate. You don’t have to be a CMO to have a good understanding of branding. You don’t have to be a celebrity to have a good understanding of partnerships. And you don’t have to be published, produced, or otherwise vetted by an institution to have a major cultural impact through your artwork.
That’s because we share through our notebooks. We open up our processes. We destigmatize teaching. We crowdsource knowledge. We don’t care if you watch us while we make things. In fact, we like it. And we want to watch you make things, too.
Millennial Psyche
You don’t have to be a millennial to be here. But judging from your t-shirt tuck, I’m guessing, yes?
You may or may not be millennial age, but you definitely share our jes nes se quoi.
The millennial psyche survived the fear-mongering D.A.R.E presentations, the radio’s repeating loop of “Stuck in a Moment” on Wednesday 9/12/01, and the strange feeling of watching fancy business people stream out of Lehman Brothers, carrying their desks packed up in cardboard boxes, as we served up stouts in Times Square to Irish tourists.
What I’m telling you is — we’ve never stood on solid ground.
So we’ve made our own.
Our intuition was gaslit for most of our childhood and formative adult years, but like a poster of JTT on the ceiling above our beds, just because others don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
With a millennial psyche, we like to do things our own way. That’s because our intuition runs deep. And we’ve got a big stake in justice. Not to mention we’re bringing big Burn It Down Energy. (We’ll build something new, we promise.)
At our best here, we’ve transformed our earnestness into something deeper, something more powerful: unbothered sincerity. You know it when you see it.
We’re not going to hide our taste. We’re going to love what we do, how we do it, and what you do and how you do it, because we parted ways with our last fuck in approximately 2016.
The millennial psyche is tender and intuitive. Also it’s completely set on fire.
Unfinished Basement
If you’re looking at an Ivory Tower, you’re not in Bohemia.
Bohemia is made of corners. Hideaway spots. Under Section 22 of the bleachers. In the soap aisle of a bodega. In your parent’s unfinished basement.
It’s the place where we make things without worrying about consequence. We don’t film everything. We sit down and write and sometimes no one will ever know we wrote. It’s fun to lose hours in the basement.
In Bohemia, copy/paste kills.
Ever see something on the internet that promises you money and fame for the low price of $19? Yeah. That’s not Bohemia.
Bohemia IS the unfinished basement. Rough edges. No polish. It’s mess aesthetic. And that’s how you know it’s real. It’s not AI-generated. There’s no template to follow. Here, we make mistakes and the mistakes become portals, and the portals lead to impact and impact can’t be bought and sold for the low price of $19. You see?
You have to figure it out for yourself in the unfinished basement. That’s what we’re doing here.
Mythical Mix Tape
And finally, oh wait… Do you want another fun little spritzer? How about a large coffee? Oat milk?
This is a Mexican roast. Robust flavor.
So finally… the mythical mix tape.
Here in Bohemia, we’re not too concerned with alignment, and brand identity, and making sense to the outside world. We don’t work on projects, we work on portfolios. We have no idea how the portfolio will eventually look. We just keep building it out. Our artwork is like a mix tape. The hits. The bangers. The love songs. The grunge. The boy bands. The indie rock. The hip hop. The songs whose lyrics we left up on our AIM away messages. Those ones.
That’s what we make here.
Not everything will make sense to everyone. But it makes sense to us. And eventually, people will try to imitate what we’re doing. We accept that. We can’t do anything else.
Okay, that’s the tour. Please recycle your can. Your coffee cup is compostable.
You have to go back now, to the other side of the portal.
But I’m really glad you found us. It’s going to be so much better for you now.
You can pretend this is simply a mythical story if it makes it easier with folks on the other side. We won’t judge you for that.
If you get angsty over there, have a snack. Snacks do help. Sleep also. And drink water. Seltzer if water is too boring for you. Make sure you have all your special drinks and while you’re at it, get yourself a little treat.
Now that you know Bohemia exists, you’re one of us. We’ll always be here. Look for the signs.
Remember how you got in.
And don’t wait too long to come back.
It’s such a vivid piece of writing - thank you for showing what can be done here. :)
Um, how in the not so holy hell does this fresh textual, sensual portal not have more love?? Thank you for the ride oh, it was fun!